Wheels Up

It's happening. In less than 24 hours, I will be returning to my beloved little country by the Mediterranean sea. In a little over 48 hours, I will see the faces of the people I have come to love so dearly.
Of course, I'm leaving people that I love too. Tomorrow, I will get on a plane and leave people that I love behind. It's not that I don't love them. And it's not that I love Israel any more than I love them. It's just that I love Yeshua way more than I love anything. Whether he calls me to live in America for a while, or Israel, or even Africa (even though if you've read this whole blog you know I specifically asked not to go to Africa) I will go. 
To my friends and family that I'm leaving behind for a time, I love you all. I am thankful for parents who "trained up a child in the way [she] should go". I am thankful for their blessing on all this craziness. I'm thankful for siblings who call at all hours of the night just to talk, and who just HAVE to get all of their "picking on you" done before I go. I'm thankful to my friends, the women I do life with. You spur me on. You challenge me. You love me well. And, I'm thankful for you, dear reader. No matter the reason you read this, thanks for investing time in reading.


Many people ask me questions when they find out I'm returning. How long will you be there? Well, the plan is three months. What will you be doing for that long of a time? I've struggled with how to answer this question, as there are things that are planned out and things that are not. And then, I realized the answer is more simple than I have been making it: I'm going to love people. Yeshua has called me to love people. I don't always know what that looks like or how it will play out, but that is the very essence of the call. And the final question, the one I get ALL the time, Are you afraid? I'm not...at least most of the time. You need to know, that if I tell someone I'm not afraid I'm not. But you also need to know that I'm human, that I struggle with fear.
I've come to find that fear is fear...no matter what form it takes. Most of the time, my only fear of this journey is the bus system. Public transportation scares me...terrifies me. Of course, it's a small fear, but it is just that...fear. And fear only makes way for more fear, because every once in a while, the bigger fears creep in and force me into an almost state of panic. Am I really doing this?! I must be crazy?! Are You sure this is what you really want me to do?!
Yes, from time to time, fear does raise it's ugly head. From time to time, it tries to drag me into it's darkness where only more fear waits. However, I am learning not to walk in fear. It is hard, because it is making a conscious effort so say, "Today, I choose to walk in the light. I say no to fear. The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom (or what), shall I fear?". It is a constant state of taking every thought captive, of running the race...even if sometimes I'm crawling this leg. So, if you catch me on a day when I am struggling with fear, don't think "Well, maybe it just isn't what you're supposed to do..." That would be a lie. I KNOW what I've been called to. I KNOW that the Lord is always faithful, always good. And the enemy has nothing on that at all.
So, dear reader, if you think of me, pray for me. Pray against fear. Pray for Holy Spirit to be in everything. I need the presence of him to function daily. Pray that I would have a chance to build new relationships, as well as continue to build on the ones I've already begun. Pray for strength and vision, because walking on water isn't easy, but if he is my strength and vision...nothing is impossible. He said those who hope in him would soar on wings like eagles.
Wheels up.


"If you say go, we will go. If you say wait, we will wait. If you say, step out on the water, and they say it can't be done, we'll fix our eyes on you and we will come. For your ways, are higher than our ways, and the plans that you have laid are good and true. If you call us to the fire, you will not withdraw your hand, we will gaze into the flames and look for you."-If You Say Go, Vineyard